A few days ago, I had the opportunity to watch Apocalypto. And I took this opportunity. And I exited the theater two hours later quite surprised. All through the viewing a single thought repeated itself in my head. A single, surprised thought: "Wow. This isn't shitty."

MOVIE BAAAAD!!!

You see, usually when watching a flick, I'll think to myself "God, this is shitty." Or perhaps "Wow, this movie is fantastic." But in this case what I found remarkable about the movie was not that it was awful, nor that it was terrific, but precisely that it *wasn't* awful. Do ya get the distinction? It was the prominent potential for shittiness, the very fact that Mel Gibson had gone traipsing through a minefield of cliches clutching $40 million dollars to his chest and somehow emerged with a halfway decent movie in hand.

SUUUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!

After seeing the trailer for the first time, I imagined Mel Gibson giggling to himself and thinking "hee hee hee, we'll have people speaking gibberish, and... and guys with their butts showing... and we'll paint some white people brown oh my god this is going to be so fucking AWESOME!" And with tasty trivia bits like this:

Many substantial speaking roles in the film were filled by Mayan people who had never acted before. For instance, the sick little girl who curses the hunting party as they and the captives pass right before entering the city, was played by a seven year old who lived in a dirt-floored hut in a village not unlike Jaguar Paw's.

...I feel justified in my repeatedly stating "wow. I can't believe this isn't shitty."