Oh! Hero!
"His people made him a leader. The empire made him a renegade. History made him a hero." I love Christopher Lambert. I make no attempt to conceal the fact. He has brought us more laughter than any comedian has, and the following demonstrates the fact.
Hero: "Bored... hero... so... bored..."
In 2001, Christopher Lambert played the lead in the Frenchy-flick "Vercingétorix" (pronounced 'very chris lambert awesome crotch'). In 2005, the idiot-savants at SomethingAwful produced a genius wordless review of the film. Go ahead and "read" it. Doesn't it just beg captioning? Well, I've gone ahead and done just that.
Hero: "Bored... hero... so... bored..."
Hero: "Hero make funny. ha ha ha... ha. Is your horse?"
Hero: "Hero sorry, but have to squeeze lady's head. Is right thing to do."
Woman: "Hero! You have arrived! Our village once again has hope!"
Hero: "eeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeee meeeeeee..."
Woman: "..."
Old Man: "Owmyhead..."
Hero: "No! Who break man's head? Must justice!"
Hero: "What you mean horses not for sexing?"
Villagers: "GET OUT!"
Hero: "Geh?"
Hero: "Grrr... I show them that horses *are* for sexing... stupid village."
Hero: "Horses are for sexing!"
Villagers: "No they're not!"
Hero: "...this big!"
Villagers: "Oooooh..."
Hero: "bididididibibibibididibeeeeeeee...fwee *ptheh*"
Villagers: "..."
Hero: "Okay, hero sorry. Hero not sexing horses. Please no stab hero."
Hero: "Hero lied! Hero *IS* sexing horses! HA HA HAAAAAAA"
Hero: "And hero will take his finger and..."
Soldier 1: "please don't say anything about horses..."
Soldier 2: "Oh god, this better not be about horses..."
*silence*
THE END