Oh China
This is one of those things that people are used to hearing me say - "China is either going to lead us boldly into the future we always dreamed of, or destroy us all long before we get anywhere near it." The means by which China has the potential to be our guide into the brighter of the potential futures I'll leave for another day. Today I feel like I should really say something about the bleaker, nastier, crustier, and more pustulent future that China might lead us to.
Just about most everyones and manypeoples know of China's reputation for being *the* place where counterfeit products come from. Maybe it's just what happens when you combine impoverished rural communities, far-too-taxed law enforcement capabilities, the ready availability of specialized machinery, and an entire planet full of people trying to save a buck.
Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Emporio Armani... Farmsdale?
SHANGHAI (AFX) - The European Union is seeing an increase in the import of counterfeit goods of a potentially life-threatening nature, such as fake medications and aircraft parts, making it imperative for China to crack down on fake products, a top EU customs official said.'It is no longer dominated by expensive luxury items or expensive watches but fake medicines, fake foodstuffs, fake children's toys, fake car spare parts and even fake spare parts for aircraft engines,' EU Commissioner for Taxation and Customs Union Laszlo Kovacs told students at Shanghai's China Europe International Business School.
'It's no more a question of financial loss, it's no more a question of losing some revenue, it is a growing danger to the health, to the safety and to the lives of our citizens,' he added. (source)
Do ya feel the fear? Didja notice the mention of "foodstuffs" and "medicines"? Some things won't really won't hurt you... or so they say:
A Chinese trader who has lived in Japan for three years says trademark violation is nothing more than a legal concept in a capitalist society. ''Forged cigarettes don't kill people. Chinese who manufacture them never feel a sense of guilt,'' the trader said. (source)
...but as our collective ingenuity begins to work against us, we wind up with far, far nastier things than knock-off Von Dutch tee-shirts:
The father of a six-year-old girl who died after a receiving an illegal hepatitis A vaccine in China’s Anhui Province says doctors repeatedly assured him his daughter was fine even as she turned purple and began foaming at the mouth."I called the chief doctor quite a few times but got the same answer: 'You as a parent should not panic,'" the girl’s father, who asked to be identified by his surname, Li, told RFA’s Mandarin service.
"Her condition then became worse and worse. When she was sent to a makeshift emergency room, she had nonstop cramps in her hands.... There were purple patches on her body and her lips were purple too. But they kept saying she was fine, she was fine," he said.
Li Wei was hospitalized with an unspecified infection and breathing problems after receiving a dose of the vaccine, her father said.
He told RFA’s Mandarin service that he was pressured to bury her quickly as well, which he fears reflected an effort to obscure the cause of her death. (source)
Yes. It's true. There are things far worse than seeing ten thousand people wearing Von Dutch without actually knowing who he was. Behold, exhibit A: counterfeit eggs.
And somewhat less disturbingly, eggs that don't even bother trying to appear edible:
Another type of faked eggs was reported in the Chaozhou-speaking area of northeast Guangdong province in early November 2004. A customer who bought a box of eggs at 45 kg from a mall found eight faked eggs in the box. The faked eggs were filled with soil inside. In China, egg is sold based on weight. The heavier the egg, the more profitable it is. Some fraudulent businessmen and farmers are reported to have filled the broken chicken eggs with soil and sold them. Retailers usually purchase large quantities of eggs and cannot check the eggs carefully.Besides health concerns, the problem of soil-filled eggs reveals how badly regulated the primary food sectors are in China. Businessmen and farmers will do anything for profits even at the expense of public health and interest. The Chinese government has yet to develop a new regulating and monitoring system, no matter what it says about the efficiency of its current system. At the present, consumers in China have to be aware of the severity of problem foods and rely on themselves in avoiding possible public health risk. (source)
Now, when I first read about the counterfeit eggs, my gut reaction was to exclaim aloud, "HOLY FUCKING HOMO CHRIST DROPPINGS!". Such was my horror. But human ingenuity prevails, and now something even more horrifying has been invented (by the Chinese). Soy sauce. Fake soy sauce made from human hair
Update:
Tai: The moral of the story is: if you're going to China, you'd
better pack a lot of fucking sammiches.
Ako: I've actually been thinking about moving to China.
Tai: You'd better pack a lot of fucking sammiches.
Ako: lol
Boys and girls are different. This we know. We've been aware of it since... well, I guess it varies per individual, but somewhere around second grade it becomes apparent that women have cooties and boys are just awesome. I thought it might be nice to take a moment to pause and appreciate how this sentiment is reflected in nature. 
